Black Girls Haircare, Learned the Hard Way.

Kiddo is biracial, half Black half white. When she first came to us I had absolutely no idea how to do anything related to Black hair care. 

Here’s her hair when she first came to us in its natural state while wet:

Supremely gorgeous. 

Here’s what her hair was like in its natural state while dry dry dry:

I gathered quickly that I needed to do something different. I saw the other little Black foster girl in her pre-k class who had a frizzy dry mess for hair and how she stood out compared to her peers, and resolved I was going to figure out how to do Kiddo’s hair so that she didn’t look like a foster kid with a white mama. It wouldn’t be fair to her to do anything else. 

I have a number of Black friends who stepped up to help me out – they took time out of their busy lives to give me advice and suggestions and critiques. And I took my own action and found YouTube. God I love YouTube. I no longer remember which videos I used but this is a *great* tutorial for beginners. https://youtu.be/-9_aGpT7CZ4  And blogs! https://blackmomsblog.com/8-tips-for-toddler-natural-hair-care/  is one great example. Those are just two samples out of HUNDREDS of excellent options. 

And once I got the hang of the HOW I switched to Pinterest for ideas. 

Here’s my first laughable attempt at braids for Kiddo. I’m embarrassed to show this but:

I got comments from Black friends like “I think you’re supposed to wrap the ends around the end bead and then put the rubber band on.” This from a gorgeous Black woman who knew for sure that’s what I was supposed to have done because she had it done to her own hair as a kid, but she was gracious enough not to point out that what I’d done was a bit ludicrous and clearly I wasn’t paying enough attention to the YouTube and blog posts. Bless her. 

My second attempt:

Better, but it lasted a day because twists don’t hold in Kiddo’s hair because she’s biracial and it isn’t textured enough. 

Eventually I mostly got the hang of what I was doing. I spent HOURS learning to do Kiddo’s hair so that it was protected from drying and breakage, was neat, and looked like the hair of the other girls in her class. To this day, though, I suck at laying Kiddo’s edges so they stay put. I still have things to learn.

Over time I learned what products caused buildup, what ones left her hair pliable and soft, what ones made her scalp itchy, and what ones made her hair dry. I spent a small fortune on products for the child, and took advantage of help offered by Sally’s Beauty Supply employees and Black women in the ethnic products section of Target (I must have looked overwhelmed because not once, but TWICE I had Black women gently ask if I needed help while I was looking at products in Target. Seriously. God bless the gracious, patient Black women who helped me). I learned how to use products so they protected her hair (I use the LOC or liquid, oil, cream method, though for Kiddo I found LCO works better). Kiddo got into the process too. She helped pick products based on smell, and started really liking her hair.

Her hair is now down to her butt when it’s wet and it’s a hell of a lot of hair to manage. She’s only with us on weekends now and I seldom want to take a whole day to do tiny cornrows and beads even when she asks for it. Besides, her Mom, who is white, winds up nearly in tears about halfway through taking out tiny braids and I sympathize because I’ve been there. It does suck. So I tend to stick to styles with fewer braids nowadays – like 2 to 6 braids rather than dozens.

When the twins were with us I did Jelly’s hair in a variety of styles, though eventually settled on twists with beads most often because twists were faster than braids, and the kid would take out barrettes for fun. Beads stayed put. I learned to do her hair on a frequently nodding head because when I’d start her hair she’d fuss at first, then conk out.

At this point I’m better at Black and biracial kids’ hair than white kids’. Mouse had lovely strawberry blond curls that were so slippery.

They totally eluded me.

And Tiny’s lovely Asian hair has just reached her eyeballs but she won’t let me put it up out of her eyes. When I do she tells me up front that she’s going to take the band or barrette out… and she’s true to her word.