Starfish

I’m sure you are all familiar with the starfish story. There are lots of versions of the it. Here’s one I like:

One day, an old man was walking along a beach that was littered with thousands of starfish that had been washed ashore by the high tide during a storm. As he walked he came upon a young girl who was eagerly throwing the starfish back into the ocean, one by one.

Puzzled, the man looked at the girl and asked what she was doing. Without looking up from her task, the girl simply replied, “I’m saving these starfish, Sir”.

The old man chuckled aloud, “There are thousands of starfish and only one of you. What difference can you make?”

The girl picked up a starfish, looked at it briefly before gently tossing it into the water, and turning to the man, said, “I made a difference to that one!”

-Adapted from The Star Thrower by Loren Eiseley.

I think about this story all the time, and I have a penchant for starfish jewelry because of it.

I confess I often worry that by being a foster parent, I am complicit in a broken system that harms so many kids, and am helping to perpetuate it. I am part of the system, whether I like it or not. After all, the system only functions if it has homes to send kids to, so I am helping it function. And while I do my best to do right by the kids who come through my home, and our kids do thrive as much as they can given their pasts, I am not making big changes to the institution as a whole and wish I were. Should I be using my energy to lobby State government and the county legislature instead? Should I create a charity that benefits youth aging out of the foster care system instead? Sometimes I wonder about the options. I know I’m doing something I am good at but I am good at lots of things and could use my skills in other ways.

All I can hope is that I am the girl throwing starfish back into the water one by one, and not part of the (foster care system) storm that washed them all onto the beach in the first place.