I am supposed to be reading 1100 pages of medical records for a work case right now, but most sincerely do NOT WANT TO READ 1100 PAGES OF MEDICAL RECORDS RIGHT NOW. Thus, I blog!
I’ve never really introduced some of our family members, and it’s always fun to talk about one’s pets, so here are some of the many sprinkles on our chaos cupcake:
Sneakers. The matriarch. The mouth of the family. Alerts us loudly when there’s no water in the water bowl or when she can see the bottom of her food dish between the remaining bits of kibble. Snuggly. Snotty because she seems to be allergic to everything. Will happily be a sleep cap on Seth’s head at night until she gets kicked off for sneezing snot all over his face. Known by the judges I appear virtually before and the professors who taught Seth in nursing school because she never shuts up.
Wednesday. A.K.A. “the evil void.” Will happily smack you in the back of the head as you walk down the stairs. Pees on everything in the house, so often gets exiled to the (finished) attic that is my office where many of the litter boxes live. Lucky me. Hates Le Shittén with an abiding passion. Hates Sneakers a little less than Le Shittén but still a lot. Hates most things. Likes to use my boobs as a shelf. Vomits up a furball a day, usually on a rug in a place where it’s sure to be discovered by my bare feet.
Rocky. Sweetest cat ever to have lived. A former rolling stone, he became semi tamed when we neutered him and ended his roving lifestyle. Adopted us when he got injured badly in a fight and showed up on the doorstep all bloody. A peacekeeper in the family, who reluctantly protects Le Shittén from herself when she starts fights with other neighborhood cats by the simple expedient of sitting between the hissing morons. Still a little wild at heart.
Pippin. A gigantic fluffy bowling ball of a cat. Sweet, good natured, and easy going. Gets along with absolutely everyone and tolerates being pounced and gnawed on by Le Shittén. Happily eats at every single neighbor’s house. Loves little kids despite their manhandling. Will intentionally come inside around noon on weekends hoping to get to nap snorgled up with the toddler.
The cat, the myth, the legend, Le Shittén. Real name is Astrid. Responds to various swear words and thinks they’re her name. Irritates all the other cats in the house endlessly. Stalks the guinea pigs. Claws the woodwork. Gets on the forbidden counters and table. Trips people throughout the whole house. Pees on clean laundry. Snags people’s clothes by climbing them. Starts spats with neighborhood cats 3x her size. Drags the toddler’s toys down the stairs (thump, thump, thump, thump) and kicks the living ish out of them for no reason, sometimes gutting a favorite stuffy. Climbs on people’s laps just to give them the Eye of Sauron to the face. Is a secret love muffin with a massive crush on Seth. Tolerates being dressed up and carried around by the kids.
Bacon. A scaredy cat piggy with luxurious locks and an abiding love for Kiddo. Spent her time hiding and shaking until we got…
Waffles. A baby piggy with a lot of spastic energy, a squeal that will set off the baby monitor down the hall and around the corner, and a massive appetite for hay.
So there you have it, our fur-bearing lunatics in all their glory! Photo gallery below:
sprinklesonachaoscupcake.com 