Baby “Cookie” is doing well. He’s gained 12 oz since he’s been with us!! Given that he came home from the hospital weighing a weenie 6 lbs, 12 more ounces is a really good thing. He’s not at all an easy kid to feed. He spits up a lot and actually vomits a lot, so I was vastly relieved to know we are getting enough into him despite all the nose spit-up rockets he’s generated. (Poor tyke, that’s gotta burn!)
He’s sensitive to stimulation – sound, light, or motion – and tenses up and that sometimes causes feedings to go awry. But he’s improving daily and the little squirt is on the right track for sure. We had a play date last weekend with one of Sprout’s friends from school (in other words, we totally gate crashed the Mom’s house and she graciously put up with all our chaos, fed my children, and didn’t cringe at the oldest’s lack of manners or the middle one’s screeches of delight while playing. Bless her!) She introduced me to MAM bottles with preemie nipples and they’ve been a life saver. So much less vomiting. Who knew bottle brand could matter so much?
As for me? I’m sleeeeeep depriiiiiiived. Cookie is up every two hours for a change and feedings and burpings that take a long time for him, so I’m not getting much shuteye.
I’ve absolutely delighted myself by having infinite patience and kindness and affection for him even when I feel like I’d happily sacrifice a limb or eye for some sleep. It was a crap shoot. It really could have gone either way. One doesn’t know how one will respond to extreme sleep deprivation until one is in the thick of it.
My house looks like the high-speed winds we’ve been getting happened indoors. But so it goes. I’m learning I simply cannot do it all with an infant and a toddler and a big kid on weekends. I’m managing to feed and bathe and dress the children and get Sprout up and on the bus on time every day so I’m doing ok in the grand scheme of things. I’m bathing myself (mostly – ok, sometimes) and keeping up with the insane laundry piles generated by an infant who spits up a lot. There are no infestations in the house. It’s a total win in my book!
My husband has been working INSANE hours. The overtime pay right now during the holiday season is a lovely lovely thing, so he’s been picking up all the extra hours he can take. That means I’ve spent a few days feeling pretty damn overwhelmed. Monday Sprout woke up with diarrhea, which is a symptom of Covid, so not only could she not go to school but I had to get her Covid tested that morning too (which turned out to be negative thank goodness). I thought there was no way I could do it. But I called the school’s Covid hotline, got her an appointment, registered her for testing, fed the baby, dressed Sprout and re-dressed her after an accident, and got all three of us scraggly humans out of the house and to the school and back again, and no one commented on our disheveled appearance. I find carrying a newborn infant gets one a lot of latitude. Also, I love dry shampoo.
As for Cookie’s near future, it’s a bit unknown. There’s a relative who wants him but there have been a few hitches in the process of getting them cleared to take him. We THOUGHT he was going there this afternoon after today’s court appearance. But then when I talked to the case worker this morning she was less sure than she’d sounded the day before. And then when she called after court she said he’s staying in foster care for now. There are upcoming court deadlines and dates in January and February so things could change then, but it looks like he’ll be with us through the holidays.
I’m happy he’s staying but feeling some twinges about how much I miss my bed. I’ve been sleeping in the twin bed in the baby’s room so I can catch his early fussing before he cries, because if he reaches the crying stage it means he’s gotten so hungry he’ll gulp and puke the whole feeding. But that means I’m sleeping on a mattress designed for much smaller humans and it’s a bit soggy and the covers keep getting all twisted and I just miss my glorious queen bed. But Seth needs as much sleep as possible with the hours he’s working and Cookie needs to be fed as soon as he starts fussing, so I’ll just keep slogging through the nights in there for now.
Cookie is now going to switch from the “triage case worker” (the ones who handle kids’ initial transitions into foster care) to his “permanency case worker,” who will work with the parents and the child and the prospective relative placement long term. We love the permanency worker, and she’s likely to tell us more of what’s going on than the triage case worker. It makes me crazy when case workers are secretive about what’s going on, and this triage worker hasn’t been especially forthcoming. I get it – she sees all sorts of foster families who have all sorts of reactions to the news she delivers and it’s just her style not to say much. We’ve found it REALLY helps us to work with families when we have a good basic grasp on what’s going on. If we can provide support to this prospective relative placement that can make this process work for them, then we will. But not all foster families support family reunification, particularly with infants. The permanency worker is not someone we’ve worked with before but her supervisor is and we have a great relationship with her, so hopefully we’ll have a good trust-based relationship moving forward.
And (*yaaaaaawn*) we shall keep on keeping on for now!
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