Sunny deserves her nickname. She’s an incredibly resilient kid, usually happy, and has a fabulous warm smile. There’s another side to her too though, and I’ll just call it the “waves against a rock” side of her.
Like a lot of kids who wind up in care, Sunny has struggled to get some of her needs met before she got here. Her Mama is incredibly sweet and loving and this is nothing against her, but with 5 kids and lots of difficult personal issues going on, sometimes the kids had to be loud – literally and figuratively – to get Mama to hear them.
Sunny has a stubborn streak that she comes by naturally judging by the personalities of the entire family, but she also uses it as a learned behavior. It is, frankly, exhausting. For example, she will come home from school and ask for a snack and if she gets told she can’t have the chocolate she’s asking for she’ll wheedle and cajole and beg and ask 1,000 different ways non-stop for an incredible length of time. Just when you think she’s finally done, a last “pleeeeease?” or two or three will eke out.
I’m made of granite, not sandstone. I don’t give in. I get exhausted and irritated by it. But I’m sure it worked at home and I totally get why: it would be easier to give in than it is to resist. I just know it’s in her best interest for me to stand firm on decisions I’ve made for a whole host of reasons. Sometimes the world delivers “nos” and she needs to learn to accept that and cope with the emotions that brings up. And she needs to know I stand by the decisions I make.
All that said, her persistence is something that is likely to serve her well in this life, too. That, and once in a while it helps me out.
I delivered the sucky Halloween news to the kids as gently as I could. There were no tears but were a lot of “Awwwww, whyyyyys” and no small amount of whining. After a while, Sunny realized she could still challenge her Mama’s decision via telephone, so she asked to call her. And then she started wheedling, cajoling, and begging. Mama, bless her heart, eventually caved and said the girls can have their Halloween, including costumes and trick-or-treating, after all.
Oh frabjous day, Halloween is back on! I’ve already got costumes for everybody, and the decorations are going to come out of the attic, STAT. Everyone is excited, and for once, I’m appreciating Sunny’s incredible oceanic resolve.
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