I have to say, waking up and putting on modest clothing and a hijab on Sundays so I can take Sunny to Arabic school is strange.
I’m finding it both liberating and restrictive at the same time. I’m on a podcast kick right now, and have been listening to several that feature Muslims living their everyday lives and discussing how their faith affects them. The more podcasts I listen to where women talk about their choice to wear hijab, the less “restrictive” it seems. I’m a super feminist and always bought the Western rhetoric that the hijab represents oppression of women. But I’m learning its being forced on women is what is so very problematic, and the choice to be modest and/or wear hijab seems just fine when left to each woman. I am learning that it can be an empowering outward expression of one’s faith, among other things – not terribly unlike a Christian wearing a cross necklace prominently. So I find I can support women’s choice to wear a hijab and support the protests going on in Iran right now at the same time.
My little Sunny is very clear: she does not want to wear hijab in everyday life but she does want to wear it to the Mosque on Sundays. She finds some of her very identity in that choice, and I support it wholeheartedly. I am curious how Sprout will feel as she gets older and is taught more about hijabs. Will she follow in her sister’s footsteps? Or assert her independence and reject it entirely? Or adopt it for everyday life?
Being out in public in a hijab is a hell of an experience. After I drop off Sunny I’ve taken to leaving the hijab on because it’s a pain to get on properly and I’ll need it when I pick her up, and because after wearing one, my hair no longer can go without. (I look like Jack Frost from The Santa Clause 3… if I’m lucky.)
When I’m wearing a hijab in public, I get overt stares. I get side eyed glances. I get people embarrassedly muttering a response when I give them a warm hello. I get people being sicky sweet and overcompensating. Some folks of course respond normally but a whole lot don’t. And this is in a city where there are plenty of Muslims wearing hijab! I can only imagine how folks would react in my tiny conservative village. Yikes.
Anyway, this is all a very strange set of lessons for me, and I’m sure it will continue. Who the hell would have ever thought I’d find myself wearing a hijab on Sunday mornings and going to a Mosque?! I miss going to my own church on Sundays but haven’t worked up the nerve to go to a Methodist church in a hijab. Perhaps packing a spray bottle and brush and some hair spray is in order…
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