It’s spring break week in my house. That means Sunny is off staying with her relative 130+ miles away, and Sprout has her parents to herself.
So far it’s been nothing short of joyous.
Sunday, my husband and I took Sprout to a little city about an hour away. It’s got a great kids’ science museum, and Sprout romped her way through it, soaking up the attention of both parents.
Yesterday Sprout woke up not feeling great, and I even cancelled her violin lesson, but she rallied late morning and wanted to go somewhere. My husband was working, but I took her to a nearby wildlife refuge. I bought myself a new pair of binoculars and gave Sprout my old pair, which are decent but inexpensive. We drove slowly through the refuge, windows down, sun shining off the water, little puffy white clouds in the sky. We spotted great blue herons and egrets, northern shovelers and ring neck ducks, mallards and Canada geese, and zillions of purple martins. It was a delicious day, and several times Sprout exclaimed “Mommy, this is the best day EVER!”
Mind you, by the end of our trip yesterday I was exhausted. Two busy days back-to-back is too much for me in a lot of ways, even though we’d just been driving around on Monday. So by the time we got home I crashed and crawled into bed for a nap instead of cleaning. My house is still looking like a hurricane ripped through it. Oh well. Fun was had!
At first when we dropped off Sunny on Saturday, Sprout complained that she missed her sister sooooo much. She repeated the phrase numerous times. She tried to get some tears going about missing her on Saturday night, but none actually fell. She mentioned missing her sister once or twice on Sunday. She didn’t say it at all yesterday.
I’m finding myself with infinite patience and good humor for Sprout. I have felt relaxed and even-keeled in Sunny’s absence, and I have way more energy for fun activities with just Sprout. I found myself this morning having a spontaneous dance party with Sprout as she helped me put away dishes. Everything is more fun right now.
There has been no doubt in my mind for quite a while that poor Sunny’s behaviors are stressing me out. Non-stop lying, constant intentional rule breaking and bending and testing, and lots of button pushing are getting to me. I know Sunny just wants to be home with her family and that’s a lot of what’s going on for her. I also know that she learned some survival skills in her first 8 1/2 years that served her well then, but don’t necessarily do so now.
Is it even possible being without her sister will be healthier for Sprout? There’s no clear answer and never will be. There’s a massive downside to not living with any biological relatives. That fact is backed by science. But Sprout’s behavior is better by far without Sunny instigating her to break rules, and without question, Sprout gets her best Mom when Sunny isn’t here stressing me out and frustrating me.
When Seth looked back as he was leaving after dropping Sunny off on Saturday, Sunny was curled up on the couch, dozing snuggled with her big sister who is recovering from a big surgery. Sunny was perfectly, infinitely content and happy.
If I needed further reassurance that our decision to suggest that Sunny go home to her relative was the right call, I’ve got it. I think it’s right for both kids. Or more right than the alternative, anyway.
sprinklesonachaoscupcake.com 