I’m not someone who minds driving in the snow. I always have all wheel drive vehicles and snow tires, and don’t mind slowing down and taking it easy. In fact, if it weren’t for other drivers, I would love driving in the snow. A little drifting is great fun!
That said, even I have my limits, and my limits are about visibility. If I can’t keep my windshield clear I get grumpy and anxious and frustrated. But, we live in Central New York so snow and days where visibility is an issue are a fact of life.
One winter afternoon, back when Kiddo was still placed with us (she was 5), I looked out my office window to see it coming down in buckets. I couldn’t see the buildings across the street at all and figured I should leave work while it was still daylight as darkness would make it even worse.
So I made my way to her daycare… with great difficulty. It was snowing so hard that the city streets were barely passable. I could creep my way along but had to legit dodge cars that were sliding backwards down hills. It took me 45 minutes to go a distance that typically took me about 10. I was getting worried.
I loaded up Kiddo and started the drive home. It usually took about 35 minutes to get from her daycare to our house but not that day – it was going to be a heck of a trek. Once I made it to the highway I could creep along at roughly 10 miles an hour. That’s how fast the traffic was moving. And for once I am not exaggerating an ounce. All I could see was the taillights of the car ahead of me even though it was still daylight. Everything else was just white.
And then it got worse. I started to be completely unable to keep the windshield clear. I had the defrost on high but the wipers just kept building up with snow. I couldn’t stop anywhere – we were ants marching in a line and there was one slightly passable lane and nowhere to pull over. So I found myself reaching my arm out the window and trying to grab the wipers when they came up so I could try to snap them against the windshield and get some of the built up snow and ice off. I was feeling ill from having the defrost on high – it was so hot in the car. I couldn’t see any exits whatsoever. The only way I had any clue where we were was the gps.
All of a sudden, from the backseat of the car, I hear Kiddo ask, “Miss Holly, where do babies come from?”
Bahahaha! OMG. Really?!?
Sooooo, I sucked in a deep breath of hot air, rolled down the window, snapped some ice off the wiper, suppressed a slightly hysterical giggle, and started.
“Well, babies grow in their Mommies’ bellies.”
Kiddo: “I grew in your tummy?”
Me: “No, you grew in your Mommy’s tummy.”
Kiddo: “Oh.”
Pause, during which I pray that will be the end of the questions. Alas.
Kiddo: “But how did I get in there?”
Me: oh dear gawd. “Weeeelllll… a man helps. So your Daddy helped put you in your Mommy’s belly when you were sooooo small you couldn’t even be seen.”
Kiddo: “I was that small?”
Me: “Yep!”
Kiddo: “But how did Daddy put me in Mommy’s belly? Did he cut her open?”
Me: Holy shit. She went there. “No, no one got cut open.”
Kiddo: “Then how?”
Me: “Eh hem. Well.” I rolled down the window to snap the wiper again even though I knew it was fruitless, just to buy some time. “When two people love each other sometimes they get really really close to each other. You know how most boys have penises?”
Kiddo: “Yeaaaah…”
Me: “and how most girls have vaginas?”
Kiddo: “Yeeeeaaaaah…”
Me: “Well, eh hem. Um. When people are GROWN UPS, and ONLY when they’re grown ups, a man puts his penis in a woman’s vagina. And that’s how a Daddy puts a baby in a Mommy’s belly.”
Kiddo: “THAT’S DISGUSTING.”
Me: don’t laugh don’t laugh don’t laugh “Well, kinda, yeah. I mean most grownups don’t think it’s gross, but…”
Kiddo: “I’M NEVER DOING THAT.”
Me, silently thinking “atta girl.” 😂
The rest of the drive home we talked about blessed trivialities.
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