At the last visit, Miss Kicks’s case worker handed me a piece of paper that said “intent to adopt” across the top. It’s a form that says that since Miss Kicks is legally freed for adoption, Seth and I intend to adopt her. She said she needed it for our next court appearance later this month, and asked if we were willing to sign it. I eagerly said yes, and Seth agreed with equal enthusiasm.
A few days later Seth explained the form to Miss Kicks saying it means that we want to adopt her, but that it is entirely up to her whether she wants to be adopted. She’s 16, and it’s her choice. Before he had even finished his sentence she had shouted “YES!”
I am so freaking happy that she wants to be adopted by us. Adoption is such a tricky thing when it involves young kids who don’t have a choice, but when it involves older kids who are able to decide for themselves whether they want to be adopted, it strikes me as something beautiful. She’s chosen us as her forever family, just as we have chosen her for our forever kid.
It still means a tremendous amount of loss for Miss Kicks – she still has a living biological father, grandmother, two sisters, and a bunch of half siblings. We support and encourage her having contact with her grandmother and her siblings, and will support her if she chooses to have contact with her father when she’s 18. We are an extra family for her, one who is able to provide daily stability, guidance, and love. A chosen family. Her soft place to land no matter what happens.
Kiddo is struggling with it a little bit, and I understand. Miss Kicks will be more officially part of our family than Kiddo is. Kiddo is a forever part of our family too, but we don’t have any legal rights to her because she has a mom who is doing an amazing job raising her. We are Kiddo’s bonus family. Seth had a long talk with her last night about the fact that we will always love her and she will always be part of our family. After all, she was basically our first born since she was our first foster kid. Kiddo now spends every weekend with us, and that’s just how it is. I think of myself as having three kids. Kiddo seemed to feel a little bit better after being reassured by Seth that we don’t love her any less than Miss Kicks and adoption won’t change that. But I’m sure it’s a conversation we will have to repeat a few times.
As I mentioned above, we have court again later this month for Miss Kicks, and hopefully that will be the final step in freeing her legally for adoption. I called an adoption attorney on Friday. I told her caseworker and her adoption worker the good news. The process is marching forward.
And every time I think about the fact that Miss Kicks is choosing us with enthusiasm, I get a warm fuzzy glowing feeling. ❤️
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