Sunny learned about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. in school. On the Monday holiday honoring him, she got up bright and early and asked me enthusiastically, “Are we going to go see Dr. King Jr. today?”
My heart thumped extra hard. I explained to her that he is dead now, and that he’d been shot to death. She sagely asked me “Was the shooter Black or white?” I answered “white.” She just nodded, like she had already known the answer in her heart.
Because of her enthusiasm about him, I got Sunny a book about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
Seth read it to her last night, and she learned from it that Black and white people could not marry each other not that long ago. She was horrified, and told me about it in great detail this morning.
The next book I got her is my favorite book I’ve ever found on Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. It’s stunning. Kadir Nelson is a brilliant artist, and I have a print of one of his paintings in our dining room:
The book that Kadir Nelson illustrated comes with a CD containing his entire “I Have a Dream” speech.
I showed her the book this morning (it arrived late last night) and she hugged it. I offered to play the CD on the computer, and she enthusiastically said “yes!” Both of the big kids (Kiddo is here) listened intently to the speech, nodding along.
Then we talked about what he’d said, and the fact that he was right about a lot of things. We talked about how people will perceive Sunny and Sprout as “brown” because they are Burmese and have a darker skin tone. We talked about Kiddo being biracial but how that means she’s perceived by the world as being Black. We talked about Black Lives Matter.
It was the most intense and wonderful conversation I’ve ever had with children. At ages 9 and 11 they understand a hell of a lot about the world they’re navigating and how it treats people who look like them. It breaks my heart but tells me Seth and I are doing something right if they can be so articulate about it all, and so comfortable having hard conversations.
I am going to continue Sunny’s education about racism. She says she wants to be like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., and she’s clearly passionate about the subject. I have another book up my sleeve that I found at a bookstore yesterday:
I predict she’ll be transfixed and appalled, but wise about it.
A little bit later we were talking about getting Jibbitz for our Crocs (yes, I have the embarrassing things!). When I was scrolling through images of the little charms, we saw a Black Lives Matter Jibbitz. I said what it was out loud, and Kiddo and Sunny got into an immediate argument about which of them was going to get it for their Crocs.
I ordered three of them. One for each of them and one for me.
Lessons here: do not underestimate what kids are capable of understanding, especially kids who have already likely experienced racism themselves. I did. I didn’t get how mature a 9 and an 11 year old could be on the subject. If you have trouble starting the conversation, find a children’s book about the subject and use it to help facilitate the discussion. Be frank. Be honest. Talk about privilege and racism, slavery and historic struggles to bring about equality in the law. It’s important, and kids have a right to know and understand. They also have a right to have a soft place to discuss such things. Be their soft place.
This is another book I can recommend wholeheartedly. Its a good place to start. It’s about slavery and the incredible spirit that kept enslaved people going through all they lived through. It’s one of Kiddo’s favorite books, and she and I always cry when we read it. I’m going to be introducing Sunny to it too. I can’t wait.
I also picked up two wonderful kids’ books about immigrants, and the struggles they left behind and the ones they took on in coming here. Sunny and Sprout’s family came here from Burma (Myanmar). I want her to understand those struggles too. And anti-Asian racism too. We’ll get there. She’s the world’s best and most enthusiastic student on such subjects.
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