Yesterday, I prepared everyone for the parade by demanding they apply sunscreen in case we were facing 3 hours of unabated sun.
It didn’t go well.
I had picked up a spray-on sunscreen by Babyganics, but dayum. It’s the most whitening mineral sunscreen I’ve ever applied. I put it on myself which was fine. No one noticed the whitening effect because I’m the color of new milk. I put it on Sprout and no one noticed because they were distracted and Sprout doesn’t care.
Then I put it on Sunny. Her lovely brown skin went about three shades whiter and slightly chalky. “I look like I’m trying to look like I’m white! No way! I’m never putting this on again!”
Kiddo, for her part, took one look at Sunny’s chalky arms and, after she stopped laughing, refused to apply it. “Dude. It would make me look all ASHY. I’ll just get browner instead. I don’t care if I burn. I’m not putting that stuff on.”
I tried to hide my happy tears. A few short years ago, Kiddo would have begged to put it on because she desperately wanted to be white. Now? She’s super proud of her lovely brown skin and Black heritage.
So what changed? Lots of little things that we are doing, like endless books about Black heritage, Martin Luther King Jr., and the Tulsa Race Massacre. The most important change, though, came this year with a Black teacher she adores. Having a male role model who is Black is massive for Kiddo because until now she’s tied her Blackness to her father, with whom she has almost no relationship now, and who has not been good to her in the past. Suddenly Kiddo is proud of her heritage and I can’t begin to express how joyful that makes me feel.
Then there’s Sunny, who struggles with lots of aspects of her identity, but is proud as hell of being a brown-skinned Asian girl. Living with us (very white) hasn’t erased that, and her saying it out loud made something in my middle region jump for joy.
Upshot: I am still internally celebrating their reactions today.
And I need a new sun screen. Recommendations for non-whitening mineral sunscreens for kids of color are welcome!
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