Ever since Sunny came to us and we realized the importance of Islam to the girls’ family, we’ve been searching for the right Muslim community for them. We tried a mosque by the university, but Sunny didn’t have a good experience there and begged not to go back.
We asked their family for ideas but they couldn’t name a person or address for us. We asked Sunny’s therapist for help but she came up empty handed. I eventually asked my friend S who legit knows everyone in Syracuse. Within like 24 hours she had a name and phone number for me.
That was in the spring. I didn’t call the woman she’d found because I suck, and because I didn’t want another thing on our overwhelmed summer schedule. I promised myself come fall and the start of school again, I’d sort it out, and the girls would start a new Islamic education program.
So last week I dug the phone number out of my old messages and called. At first the woman I spoke with thought I was selling something – ha! – but she quickly understood what I was asking about and invited the girls to come to their education program this weekend.
Today was the day. I got my hijab on and the girls put theirs on and we went to the Center. The woman I’d spoken with was incredibly gracious, and kept looking at Sunny. Eventually we mentioned Sunny and Sprout’s older sister (who looks remarkably like Sunny!) and it clicked for her. She knew their sister, and remembered Sunny, and remembered Sprout as a tiny baby!
The Center is an incredible place. It’s very unassuming and unlabeled on the outside, and inside the carpet is well worn and the seats have been sat on a lot. She said something like 200 kids go through there on a given weekend for the education program. They are mostly from refugee families, as the area of the city where the center is located is filled with refugees. There were other Burmese kids there, as well as kids from Syria, Sudan and about two dozen other countries. It’s beautiful in its diversity.
The woman explained that the Center is crucial for the community in that it provides everything it can for refugees in need, from food and clothing, to furniture and toys, to dishes and transportation. What a priceless resource for a community in need!
Absolutely everyone we met was lovely to us. We stayed for the first hour, then left the girls to adjust on their own for the rest of the time. Apparently Sprout got a bit overwhelmed at one point and cried, but Sunny reported Sprout settled in pretty quickly.
The only downside to the entire lovely afternoon was the person with Issues who was wearing a big cross necklace and standing outside the Center screaming at the children, “Peace before war!” Who screams at children, regardless of their prejudices?! The leaders quickly shooed the kids inside to safety and the screamer left. But honestly, it was a good reminder for why there’s no signage saying the place is a mosque. The vandalism risk alone would be sky high. It’s so sad, especially when it’s a place that is doing so much to help so many people.
As we left, the woman who runs the education program gave the girls a little gift bag. Inside were two little bracelets, some washable Crayola paints, and a hijab for Sunny. She gave me a hijab too, which I appreciate tremendously. The fabric of the one she gave me is infinitely less slippery than the one I kept trying to put back on my head today!
Anyway, my big question now is, do I take the girls out of school a little early on Fridays so they can attend prayers at the mosque? My understanding is that a lot of members of the Burmese community attend, including folks who know the girls. Do I do it once a month? Every other week? Every week? Not at all? I’m trying to weigh the importance of every minute of educational instruction against the importance of their cultural and religious identity. When I asked my friend S what to do, she suggested I ask the kids. So I think I’ll take them out of school once or twice then check in with them to see what their preference is.
I’ll tell you I’m biased toward doing it at least once a month just so they continue to have that connection to faith and community. Even if they groan and moan and complain about having to go to Islamic school, they’re going to go, because one of the most common complaints I hear and read from adoptees is that they weren’t connected to their culture of origin. So even if the girls don’t appreciate it now, I suspect they will someday. And if they choose to leave culture and faith behind as adults that will be up to them, not me. I won’t make the choice for them by neglecting to expose them to their culture and faith.
sprinklesonachaoscupcake.com 