My house is peaceful, joyful, and fun today despite crappy rainy weather and all somewhat overtired humans. No one got enough sleep. One grownup has a migraine.
But Kiddo and Sprout are playing so nicely together. No fighting. No exclusion. No meanness. I’m absolutely loving having my whole family together for the weekend.
And sadly, I am loving the atmosphere and energy so much more without Sunny here. It’s amazing how hard it is to cope with one small broken human sometimes. I keep finding myself tearing up over that realization. Heartbreaking.
I hope like hell she’s happier and doing well where she is. I’ve done a lot of meta-meditation for her already. 💔
And out of the blue, Kiddo asked me to do braids and beads in her hair again. It’s been at least a year since she’s let me touch her hair! I thought she’d “outgrown” beads at age 12, but she hasn’t apparently. She even asked for glow-in-the-dark beads.
It’s fascinating to see how much energy braiding hair takes. I have always known it makes my joints hurt, makes me tired, and makes me sweat like crazy. But my Visible app says I’ve already used up almost all my spoons for the day and I’m only 1/2 way done with her head!
This Visible app is teaching me fascinating things about my body, and what = exertion that exhausts me. It is also going to show me cycles of pain and intestinal problems, plus depression and anxiety, because it tracks those with a brief daily questionnaire. I’ll know if meds are working. I’ll see what hormones are doing to me. I’m really hopeful about how much this tool can help improve the quality of my life.
I need to go back to braiding. Then we’ll take a bunch of donation clothing and books to our church, return Sunny’s wheelchair to the place it was rented from, and hit the mall and Billy Beez for the girls to burn off energy. I can take them places now with ease and no worries about behaviors. It’s such a blessed relief. Relief tinged with sadness and a little guilt, which I’m trying to meet with more curiosity.
