We have lots of fun things on our refrigerator. I have a Michelle Obama bumper sticker that say “When they go low, we go high,” and an Elizabeth Warren one that says “Persist.” I’ve got a flyer from Dai Bosatsu Zendo that has New Years wishes on it. There are magnets from Glennon Doyle thatContinue reading “Explaining Black Lives Matter to a nine-year-old”
Author Archives: hollykaustin
Worst Drive Ever?
I’m not someone who minds driving in the snow. I always have all wheel drive vehicles and snow tires, and don’t mind slowing down and taking it easy. In fact, if it weren’t for other drivers, I would love driving in the snow. A little drifting is great fun! That said, even I have myContinue reading “Worst Drive Ever?”
Chincoteague, a four year old, and 🦟
Seth and I haven’t taken a proper vacation in 4 years now. Part of that is Covid putting the kibosh on our plans last summer. Part of it is that it can be hard to get travel permission with foster kids. A lot of folks don’t realize that bio parents still have a lot ofContinue reading “Chincoteague, a four year old, and 🦟”
Y’all are my Village
My two favorite t-shirts are ones that say “Be the change” and “Be the Village.” “It takes a village to raise a child” is an old African proverb. And it’s incredibly true. As foster parents without a lot of friends who are also fostering, sometimes we feel rather like an island. We need a fosterContinue reading “Y’all are my Village”
Self Care and Foster Care
Foster care is a rough gig. It’s emotionally taxing x100. On the best days when everything is going well and the kids are great my heart aches knowing it won’t last – kids go home. I flip between trying to protect my heart from the heartbreak I know is coming, and just letting myself loveContinue reading “Self Care and Foster Care”
Famous people who were once in foster care
Simone Biles Tiffany Haddish Eddie Murphy Marilyn Monroe Rosie Perez Colin Kaepernick Steve Jobs Malcolm X Seal A little while ago Seth and I took in a super short term emergency placement. Two little girls needed a place to go for the weekend before a more permanent foster home could be found for them onContinue reading “Famous people who were once in foster care”
Representation Matters – Black Kids Literature Version
It’s the nature of our foster care system – which is full of its own institutional biases – that there are lots of BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color) kids in the system. I’m sure I’ll write more about institutional racism in another post some day. It’s a massive issue. Just to give youContinue reading “Representation Matters – Black Kids Literature Version”
Transference is Real in Foster Care
“Transference is a phenomenon in which one seems to direct feelings or desires related to an important figure in one’s life—such as a parent—toward someone who is not that person.” – Psychology Today For a long time Kiddo was really angry with her Mom. It was her Mom who she had been with when sheContinue reading “Transference is Real in Foster Care”
Black Girls Haircare, Learned the Hard Way.
Kiddo is biracial, half Black half white. When she first came to us I had absolutely no idea how to do anything related to Black hair care. Here’s her hair when she first came to us in its natural state while wet: Supremely gorgeous. Here’s what her hair was like in its natural state whileContinue reading “Black Girls Haircare, Learned the Hard Way.”
What do the kids call us?
Kiddo, who was older when she came to us, was fiercely adamant that we were not her parents. She called us Miss Holly and, eh hem, “Miss Seth.” We think she picked up calling Seth Miss rather than Mr because most of her teachers were women and she just assumed adults were called Miss. ButContinue reading “What do the kids call us?”
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