So it’s been about a week and a half since Sunny, Sprout’s biological sister, joined us. When I first mentioned her in this blog I said:
On Tuesday, Sprout’s sister “Sunny” (8) joined us for… well, for now. It’s foster care so who the heck knows for how long? There are some relatives who may take her and her three other siblings (5), (12), and (13) soon. Or maybe it won’t work out. Maybe she’ll leave next week. Or maybe she’ll be here forever. Or something in between. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I look back on that paragraph and marvel at how accurately I captured how the last week and a half have been. The case worker, bless her, is overworked and drowning in files, and hasn’t been able to keep me updated on the many permutations behind the scenes so we’ve largely been left in the dark as to what’s going to happen.
When she first arrived, we took Sunny shopping with the County clothing voucher and then, given how uncertain her placement with us was, probably unwisely spent a bunch more to get her enough of the basics. A dear friend sent a ton of fantastic clothing too, and all told, this kid is set for warm weather and will soon be set for colder weather. (For a kid who has never had more than 2 outfits of homemade clothing at a time, she’s overwhelmed by all the new clothing. Overwhelmed in a good way.)
We also ordered Sunny a new bed, one that has drawers under it, because we are desperate for drawer space in that room. It hasn’t been assembled yet, but is sitting in our hallway in a box.
I took Sunny for a medical appointment and got referrals to a bunch of specialists. And I made an eye appointment with my eye doctor because I trust him to get her script right even though we’ll have to pay out of pocket for it.
All this was done while we didn’t know if Sunny was going to stay for a while, or go to a relative asap. At one point I swapped emails with the case worker about registering Sunny for school and she said to do so, which kind of indicated she’s staying for a while, but wasn’t clear.
This level of uncertainty is common in foster care. We once had a baby placed with us for a “long term placement” who went to an Aunt less than a week later. We had a 6 year old boy placed with us for “long term” who lasted 18 torturous days. We’ve had a sick baby placed with us with the admonition that we not get too attached because she was likely going home soon, who stayed for 18 months. That child we were told was going to adoption at one point while her case was pending, although she eventually went home to her parents.
My point is, foster care is, if nothing else, a tease. You just don’t know ever how long any child will stay with you. It’s a hard task to balance getting what you need for a child, versus protecting yourself against the child leaving before everything you’ve ordered for him/her arrives.
This time I got lucky. Behind the scenes at one point the County was going to send Sunny to a relative with her other 3 siblings, but some paperwork wasn’t completed as needed for that to happen and the siblings went to the relative but Sunny stayed here. The case worker and I talked this morning about Seth’s and my willingness to have Sunny long term (we’re happy to have her) and our ability to get her caught up medically and in school a bit before she goes anywhere. The relative has their hands FULL with the other three who need catching up, and their own kids, and it’s sooooo good for Sprout to spend this time with her sister. So we have a little time with Sunny.
How is it going, you might ask? About as well as it could be. It’s still the honeymoon period so I say this guardedly: Sunny seems to be a great fit for our home. We can handle the medical needs. We can handle the educational needs with our awesome school district and tutors and assistance at home. She and Sprout get along like sisters, which is to say usually very well but they have their moments of getting on each other’s nerves. They spend a lot of time giggling and hugging which makes my heart feel all funny and like it might explode.
Sunny is settling in as well as any kid could. Having her sister here is huge. Having unfettered access to her Mama via phone is huge, (especially now that Mama has stopped saying she’s going home tomorrow, which was happening for a while). Sunny’s been to the zoo for the first time thanks to a friend’s kind sponsorship of a zoo trip. She’s been painting a bunch and likes art. She’s made slime. She’s listened to dozens of books. She’s painted her nails with peel off nail polish roughly 25 times a day. Like her sister, she calls us Mom and Dad and is getting super attached to Seth. She loves having clothing, is getting used to the routine, insists on getting a kiss on top of her head from me at bedtime, and loves cooking Burmese food with me.
Mind you, the Kiddo factor gets introduced tonight for the first time. I’m nervous. She can be a bit of a bully, and will want to dominate Sunny. Sunny is pretty indomitable, so this will get interesting! I am taking Kiddo to the fair tomorrow for some one-on-one time and that will help ease tensions I think. But it’s going to be a bit tense I’m afraid. Oh well, eventually they’ll find their places in the pecking order and settle in, and there will be lots of supervision this weekend since Seth isn’t working.
So for now, it looks like Sunny weather for a little bit. How long is a mystery!
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