I’m sitting with Kiddo as she gets her hair braided professionally by a Black woman for the first time. I screwed up to start with by not buying enough hair for braiding in, and Seth had to rescue us by going to the store to buy more.
But aside from that glitch, it’s going great! Kiddo is being infinitely patient, and is passing the time watching tv and chewing on a straw – her favorite anxiety outlet these days. The woman doing the braiding is kind and patient and doing a beautiful job, without pulling Kiddo’s hair out. When I took Miss Kicks to a braider I didn’t do my research ahead of time and the woman who did the braids pulled her hair so tight that Miss Kicks had actual welts on her scalp and wound up taking the braids out because she couldn’t stand the itching. But this lady is doing appropriately tight box braids. Not painful, not damaging her scalp, but tight enough to last for a while.
The woman doing the braiding is shocked that a white couple is bringing our Black Kiddo to get her hair done by a Black woman. She asked me “Do you know a lot of Black people?” I said “Not really!” and she replied “I’m just surprised you knew to bring her to a Black braider.” Heh. So while we are sadly white about not having a clue what type of braiding hair to buy or how much, I think we are doing ok. At least Kiddo is here!
Updates:
We did our usual monthly visit with Sunny and Sprout’s family on Saturday and it was wonderful. Kiddo came along for the first time and while the family was a bit puzzled about how she fits into our quirky family structure, they were as gracious as always.
It rained all day, so we could not meet at the Burmese park. We went to the girls’ aunt’s house instead, and Mama went to the corner store and bought us some of the most delicious food. Kiddo tried absolutely everything and loved it all. She was polite and enjoyed her time in a totally different culture. I’m so happy for her that she could open up to the opportunity and roll with it!
Sunny and Sprout had a good visit, romping and playing with their siblings and cousins. The youngest cousin, who is a total beast, broke Sprout’s glasses quite thoroughly. That’s the second pair of glasses she’s broken – she broke Sunny’s a few visits ago. She got in trouble but she’s only 2, and is keeping up with a riotous bunch of older siblings and cousins all the time. Honestly, I’m wishing the glasses had survived, but I get a massive kick of of her spitfire ways. She gives Sprout a run for her money, which is really saying something!
Trauma stays in the veins and sometimes holds the reins:
As summer progresses, school gets ever closer. We know who both Sunny and Sprout’s teachers are and are thrilled. Both have landed with truly lovely women who care a great deal about their kids and how they learn.
Highlight of my day today, though? I found out a friend I’ve known for – oh lordie – something like forty years – is going to be teaching Kiddo English Language Arts or ELA. I’ve been hoping so much that this friend would get Kiddo. Kiddo needs strong caring teachers who inspire their kids, and that’s what she’s going to get this year. She needs teachers who don’t put up with her ‘tude, and call her on it, but more than that she needs someone who just plain cares.
Kiddo still struggles with her trauma background. Sunday was a rough day for her. She was rude and short tempered all morning. I took her to task more than once but got nowhere by being insistent about better behavior. I then took the older two to see the Barbie movie.
After the movie we went to Taco Bell because we were all starving and it’s the only fast food place I can eat at and get gluten free-ish food. Kiddo was wicked rude to Sunny, and I asked her what on earth is going on. To my surprise, she burst into tears and spent about 5 minutes crying. She couldn’t explain – and truly I think didn’t know – what was wrong. She just was triggered by something yesterday.
I then dropped Kiddo and Sunny off home, and Seth took over while I went out with a friend to a dirt track race (vroom vroom!). Seth said the evening was no better. By the time he put Kiddo to bed after the other girls, he again asked Kiddo what was wrong and she again broke down in tears but didn’t know what was wrong.
Now, I know hormones are in play. She’s 11 1/2 and approaching puberty and girls at her age are walking hormone bombs with mood swings that can give you whiplash. But this was something more – something is really eating at her and she doesn’t know what, which I know from experience is a very uncomfortable place to be.
Thank heavens a good night’s sleep has made a world of difference. She’s as cheerful as a woefully bored 11 year old can be, as her hair gets tugged and parted and braided.
We may never know what set her off. All we can do is be patient with her and kind, talk Sunny off the ledge when she’s annoyed with Kiddo for her moods, and let Kiddo know firmly what is and is not ok while she works things out herself.
Anyway, that’s all our news! Wish us patience as the braiding continues, since Kiddo is already asking “is this the last braid?” which is the hair equivalent of “are we there yet?” It could be a long afternoon!
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