I’m not in the business of badmouthing anybody, but I figure an update is appropriate as I have followers who are now – or who are thinking of becoming – foster parents who want to know what this gig is really like.
I think I mentioned previously that our last case worker left the agency. She stated to me that she was feeling unsafe herself, and felt like she could not keep the kids on her case load safe, so she made a big career change and left the agency altogether.
That left us needing a new case worker.
I waited about three weeks but heard nothing from any new case workers looking to introduce themselves, so I finally started making some phone calls. Eventually I got a name and a number for both the new case worker and their supervisor. I called the case worker on a Monday morning mid morning and chatted with them for a little bit.
A few things were readily apparent.
1. This case worker is seriously overwhelmed.
2. This case worker is new to their job.
3. This case worker was majorly annoyed they’d had this particularly complex case handed to them.
4. This case worker had not taken the time to familiarize themself with the case all that much, maybe hoping it would disappear off their case load.
5. This case worker had no qualms about taking their frustration out on a foster parent who isn’t doing anything wrong.
Ultimately I asked a question that either irritated the case worker, or crossed an invisible line I didn’t know was there. I offered to the case worker that my husband and I are still willing to take the girls’ oldest sister if that would be helpful in getting her medical needs met, and stated we are willing to be a permanent resource for her. At first the case worker told me there was “internal pushback” against the sister coming to live with my husband and me and her sisters, and when I asked for clarification, the case worker said, “I’ll have to call you back about this.” And hung up on me.
I was left staring and blinking confusedly at my phone.
I don’t know if the case worker was being overheard on a sensitive subject. Or if they were worried they’d say the wrong thing. Or if I said the wrong thing. Or if they panicked. Or if they were angry. I don’t have a good sense of what happened. But regardless, I am not overly happy, especially since no follow up call was made to me.
That was a week ago.
On Wednesday, I sent an email to the kids’ attorney because I needed to know if a particular document had been served. I was asked the question by my attorney but don’t know the answer and can’t get a return call from the case worker, and our attorney can’t start working on Sprout’s adoption until I get an answer. I hoped the kids’ attorney would know the answer.
She didn’t know the answer but said she’d find out from the case worker’s supervisor.
Today, I broke down and emailed the attorney again to see if she’d reached anybody. I didn’t want to be annoying but jeez, I need some answers! All she responded with was that she’s writing a letter to the judge to get the case put back on the judge’s calendar – meaning she wants to discuss something in court. I have no idea what’s up though I have myriad guesses.
I’ve called the case worker one more time maybe Thursday last week, and left a message saying I just want to set up a home visit for this month before it’s too late, and ask her a critical question about the kids’ insurance.
It’s been radio silence. My question pile is mounting. I need travel permission for Sprout for her surgery and want to know if we can get her a covid shot now that her parental rights are terminated. I’ve been getting weird insurance-related text messages I don’t know if I have to do anything with. I need to know what the visit plan is, and I offered to help transport the girls for their monthly visits where they meet their family at a half way point. And I need to get started on a passport for Sunny because we are planning to go visit my sister in Lyon, France next summer. (That last request should go over like a fart in church…)
All I can do is keep a running list of my questions, hope each day that someone calls me, and hope for a court date that isn’t months away.
This is the kind of stuff that is soooo frustrating I want to cry. Now, I am perimenopausal, so take that into account when I start talking about tears. I can cry at even non-sappy commercials now. But this frustration genuinely goes deep.
I’m impatient by nature, so I’m trying not to let impatience get behind the wheel. But I do have kids to care for and need instructions and guidance and authorizations from the agency because I’m required by law to have those things before I act in various ways. And right now I simply cannot get them.
Can some of my questions sit and simmer a bit? Yes, I’m sure some can. But some – like what’s going on with their insurance – can’t. These are medically fragile kids with upcoming appointments and a lapse in coverage because one of us dropped the ball could be problematic. I have no clue if I’m supposed to, or am authorized to, respond to the texts I’m getting from the insurance company. I don’t have the info I’d need to answer the company’s questions.
I’ll figure it out. I always do. But hot diggety, it doesn’t need to be this exasperating.
This is the stuff that has made my husband and me swear we are done fostering except for this particular family. Foster care that looks like this is unsustainable for ALL parties involved, including the case workers who have 16 complex cases and who, according to guidelines, are only supposed to have 7. Has this case worker handled things badly with me? Yes, from the get go. But is this case worker drowning in case files, feeling unsupported, trying to juggle mandates from above and their own gut feelings those mandates aren’t right in some cases? And is this case worker reeling from the stress of their job? Yepper. I’m certain they are.
We need funding desperately. We need to be able to pay these case workers more. We need a massive agency overhaul, with a bunch of new case workers getting hired and trained properly. Frankly, it’s a debacle. Our county legislature is largely to blame for the funding shortages and policies that aren’t working. But the agency administrators have some answering to do too, in my relatively uneducated book.
They can’t operate like this. They need more case workers and lower case loads and more resources and better training and better supervisors. Or else who is going to pay the ultimate price? A neighboring County’s Department of Social Services has already been a good test case for what happens when an agency is underfunded, under scrutinized, and understaffed. Children – plural – have died. I can’t help feeling it’s just a matter of time with my own agency, too.
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