A post about foster parenting hacks went up on one of the many foster parenting Facebook pages I follow. It gave me the inspiration to do my own list, as follows:
Preparation prior to placements:
Get waterproof mattress covers for ALL beds. They make ones that don’t make annoying crinkly noises now. They go on sale on Amazon for like $10 a piece.
Keep lice treatment supplies on hand. *shudder*
Also keep ramen noodles on hand, even if they’re not something you would normally eat. We have found that a lot of kids coming into care have eaten them and will think of them as comfort food when they’re in an unfamiliar situation.
Keep bubbles and bath toys on hand for younger kids. Baths are often either unfamiliar (a lot of low income housing only provides shower facilities or sketchy bathtubs moms don’t want to make kids use), or have been a source of trauma. For older kids, provide a basket of a scrubbie and fun scented bath supplies for the same reasons. We have gotten all the younger kids past bath aversions but never did get Miss Kicks bathing regularly. So the deodorant and body spray of their choice is important too.
Keep a collection of gender neutral pajamas on hand in a variety of sizes for emergency placements. We have almost always gotten kids brought to us late in the day, past when it’s convenient to go out and buy things for them. A pair of new pjs goes a long way toward settling a child in for that first rough night.
Having a small collection of new stuffies or Squishmallows on hand is great. That way kids can pick one on their first night, and you can assure them that it will stay with them always. Even teens may appreciate a cute Squishmallow to snuggle. We also always have a new throw blanket on each bed before new arrivals, and tell kids the blanket is theirs for good too.
***My best hack!*** Put a box of non-perishable snacks (like granola bars, fruit snacks, goldfish crackers) in the child’s room. I know this sounds like an open invitation to ant colonies everywhere, and it is, but trust me on this one. Most kids coming into care have experienced food insecurity and are afraid of not being able to eat when they’re hungry. Those should be “always allowed” snacks even if dinner is in 15 minutes. Having a basket of them to hand helps alleviate fears and diminishes food hoarding and just generally helps built trust with kids.
Once kids have arrived:
Keep all crucial documents – eyeglass prescriptions, social security number, birth certificates, IEP, and whatever else you get for kids – in one location. A binder with plastic sleeves is great if you’re that organized (I’m not), but even having kid-specific piles in boxes works. I can put my hands on anything necessary within about 2 minutes.
Keep copies of your kids’ court paperwork. I’ve got an archival box full of court document copies for our FD5 who is now past TPR and appeals deadlines and headed toward adoption. I figure she’ll have questions about everything when she’s older, and may want to see the documents as an adult.
If you can afford it, get a printer that can do photo printing. It makes life books way easier. It also makes it easy to take photos of the child to the parents during visits. That helps make parents feel like their kids are ok, and gives them some feel for what their kids’ lives are like away from them. For a lot of families, they don’t have a lot of photos of their kids because printing photos costs money and frankly, a lot of families charged with “neglect” are actually just living in poverty. (Sorry – I’ve waxed cynical).
Also organize photos on your phone as you go, so you can do a quick photo dump/print if a child is being moved or going home. Each kid has a folder of my favorite photos of them and the activities we’ve done together. That way it’s easy for me to create a life book for them on short notice. A “life book” is just a collection of photos in chronological order of the child’s time in your care that they get to take with them.
Even if you think it’s a ripoff, suck it up and get a small package of school photos and share with the child’s family. Be sure to do things like first day of school photos and birthday photos to share with the family too.
And that’s it folks! It’s all I can think of on this vacation Friday. Happy weekend!
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