Tag Archives: Sunny

Adoption. Is. Trauma.

I got a note from Sprout’s teacher on Friday saying Sprout had a rough week. She refused to do her work unless an adult helped her (she is in a 12:1:1 classroom so that help is thankfully available). She was sometimes uncooperative. And the work she did do was not her best. Let me startContinue reading “Adoption. Is. Trauma.”

Brown skin is beautiful, but my kid doesn’t believe it.

My gorgeous brown-skinned Asian kid just told me she wishes she had white skin because “it’s prettier.” My heart broke. It’s something I heard before from Kiddo when she was about 4. I asked Sprout why she thought white skin is prettier, and she said “all the pictures are of pretty white-skinned girls.” This kidContinue reading “Brown skin is beautiful, but my kid doesn’t believe it.”

Sometimes Rain is Better than Sun

My house is peaceful, joyful, and fun today despite crappy rainy weather and all somewhat overtired humans. No one got enough sleep. One grownup has a migraine. But Kiddo and Sprout are playing so nicely together. No fighting. No exclusion. No meanness. I’m absolutely loving having my whole family together for the weekend. And sadly,Continue reading “Sometimes Rain is Better than Sun”

What if curiosity healed the cat?

We dropped Sunny off with her relative on Tuesday. It was uneventful. She refused to say goodbye which made it extra hard. Even though I know saying goodbye is really hard for a lot of foster kids – they’ve had to say some really goddamn hard goodbyes in their lives – it still felt yuckyContinue reading “What if curiosity healed the cat?”

Looking for Redemption

I have spent months wallowing in frustration. Frustration with Sunny’s defiance, her meanness, her cruelty toward her sister, her disregard of others in the community life of our family. Frustration has led to anger. I recognize that it is ridiculous that I am angry with a broken ten-year-old for being broken. But knowing and changingContinue reading “Looking for Redemption”

The Winding Down

I took Sunny to the pediatrician this morning. She was just due for a routine checkup, but I of course informed them that she is being discharged from our county’s care and moved to a relative a few hours away. They made it a discharge appointment, where they gave her shots a little ahead ofContinue reading “The Winding Down”

Feeling at Home

Seth and I have been struggling mightily with our household lately. Sunny knows there are only a few weeks before she goes home, and she’s ramped up her behaviors significantly. Intellectually I get that she’s pushing us and her sister away so that leaving is easier. I get that she’s only 10, and is struggling.Continue reading “Feeling at Home”

It’s Mother’s Day, FWIW

It’s no secret that I’m not a fan of Mother’s Day. I always struggled with it as a younger adult because I didn’t have kids, didn’t want biological kids, and felt inherently that Mother’s Day was the world’s way to point out that I wasn’t the “ideal woman.” Ideal women prioritize reproduction. Once I becameContinue reading “It’s Mother’s Day, FWIW”

Disabled, officially. For now.

I’ve written before about my health struggles (see here). In sum, I have psoriatic arthritis and ulcerative colitis – both of which are autoimmune diseases – and fibromyalgia, which is an issue with the pain system of the body. The good news is I’ve been awarded social security disability, for now. It’s been a twoContinue reading “Disabled, officially. For now.”