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Self care isn’t just a cliché

My therapist introduced me to Silk + Sonder journals recently. They’re monthly journals, meaning they’re designed for people like me who lose interest in old things and get excited about new. Just as I’m losing interest in last month’s journal the next one arrives, fresh with a new theme and clean pages of possibility. ThereContinue reading “Self care isn’t just a cliché”

What if curiosity healed the cat?

We dropped Sunny off with her relative on Tuesday. It was uneventful. She refused to say goodbye which made it extra hard. Even though I know saying goodbye is really hard for a lot of foster kids – they’ve had to say some really goddamn hard goodbyes in their lives – it still felt yuckyContinue reading “What if curiosity healed the cat?”

Looking for Redemption

I have spent months wallowing in frustration. Frustration with Sunny’s defiance, her meanness, her cruelty toward her sister, her disregard of others in the community life of our family. Frustration has led to anger. I recognize that it is ridiculous that I am angry with a broken ten-year-old for being broken. But knowing and changingContinue reading “Looking for Redemption”

Staying in the System, but in a New Way

I just completed a form to volunteer to be a CASA, or a Court Appointed Special Advocate. A CASA is a volunteer who is appointed by a family court judge, and then connects with a foster child’s parents and foster parents and teachers and doctors, but most importantly, with the child. The purpose of aContinue reading “Staying in the System, but in a New Way”

The Winding Down

I took Sunny to the pediatrician this morning. She was just due for a routine checkup, but I of course informed them that she is being discharged from our county’s care and moved to a relative a few hours away. They made it a discharge appointment, where they gave her shots a little ahead ofContinue reading “The Winding Down”

Feeling at Home

Seth and I have been struggling mightily with our household lately. Sunny knows there are only a few weeks before she goes home, and she’s ramped up her behaviors significantly. Intellectually I get that she’s pushing us and her sister away so that leaving is easier. I get that she’s only 10, and is struggling.Continue reading “Feeling at Home”

The Power a Good Foster Parent Has

This week I shot an email to Sunny’s attorney and asked her to give me a call when she got the chance. She did so promptly, and I told her in no uncertain terms that Sunny is struggling emotionally here more and more as time passes, and that both her therapist and I think it’sContinue reading “The Power a Good Foster Parent Has”

Struggling to Parent Sunny

I’ve written before about how Sunny is a difficult kid to parent. I’m not sure I’ve really emphasized that enough, though. Folks, I’m struggling with parenting her fairly. Sunny has learned, through no fault of her own, to be manipulative and pushy. Those were attributes that got her needs met when she was home withContinue reading “Struggling to Parent Sunny”

A Spooky Room for Sprout

We’ve been foster parents for almost 8 years, always in the same three bedroom house. Well, now a four bedroom house! There’s a master bedroom, and that’s stayed ours all along. But the other two bedrooms on the second floor have gone through a million different permutations. Kiddo was our first foster kid, and sheContinue reading “A Spooky Room for Sprout”

The state of my house

My spicy 5-year-old had the chutzpah to announce this morning that she’s been telling her friends and her teacher that our house is “dirty.” There’s lots to unpack around that. First, she comes from a truly dirty house. Her Mama is not a good housekeeper, unfortunately. So though Sprout was referring to our house (IContinue reading “The state of my house”