development

Dealing with Uncertainty

Foster care is nothing if not filled with uncertainty. We have 10-year-old Sunny with us still. She’s been here 519 days counting today. She says she still wants to go home, but my suspicion is that she would have a very hard time transitioning back to her old style of family life. Her family isContinue reading “Dealing with Uncertainty”

Sunny’s Need to Belong

The subject of belonging came up for me recently when I listened to a We Can Do Hard Things podcast called “Being Left Out: Navigating that Lifelong Ache.” In the episode, Glennon, Abby, and Amanda talk about the need for feeling like we belong, and how fundamental that feeling is to our survival. In essence,Continue reading “Sunny’s Need to Belong”

We’re done fostering other than the family we’ve got with us… right?

We got a call last week for a 4-year-old little boy with feeding problems and behavioral challenges. I’d sworn we were done fostering except for Sunny and Sprout and maybe other family members of theirs. We got rid of all of our fostering stuff – clothing and cribs and toddler beds included. But. Feeding problemsContinue reading “We’re done fostering other than the family we’ve got with us… right?”

How does trauma affect behavior?

On Thursday, I packed up Sunny and Sprout and went to Boston with my Dad for my niece’s graduation weekend. Seth had to work, and doesn’t yet have the kind of seniority he needs to take off his weekend shifts. So it was my Dad and me and the girls. To say I was apprehensiveContinue reading “How does trauma affect behavior?”

The Difference Nine Healthy Months Makes

My Concert Weepies Last night, I sat in a crowded theater full of cheering parents and likewise cheered my kid, who was singing in the 2nd grade chorus concert. Sprout was the wiggliest wildest audience member, along with her BFF, whose parents we got to meet finally for the first time last night. I foundContinue reading “The Difference Nine Healthy Months Makes”

Age 4, with Trauma

This morning’s conversations with almost-four-year-old Sprout have me seriously thrown. I kind of want to curl up in a corner and cry, honestly. Sprout: “You hate my Mommy [name]?” Me: “What? No! I love your Mommy! She’s so sweet. And I love anyone who loves you like she does.” Sprout: “Really?” Me: “Really really. IContinue reading “Age 4, with Trauma”

“How do you get kids caught up developmentally?”

I got a great question from a dear friend (a series of great questions actually) that I’ll answer in a series of posts. One of her questions was what we do to help kids catch up developmentally. The short answer? Believe it or not, just play with them. A lot. All our Littles have beenContinue reading ““How do you get kids caught up developmentally?””