I got a note from Sprout’s teacher on Friday saying Sprout had a rough week. She refused to do her work unless an adult helped her (she is in a 12:1:1 classroom so that help is thankfully available). She was sometimes uncooperative. And the work she did do was not her best. Let me startContinue reading “Adoption. Is. Trauma.”
Tag Archives: foster care
Generational Trauma and our kids
Sprout These Days Sprout is doing remarkably well. I’ll start with school academics. She’s getting retested for speech and OT services but likely won’t need either going forward, and her father and I wholeheartedly agree with those services being dropped. While she continues to be in a 12:1:1 classroom, she’s thriving in it, and weContinue reading “Generational Trauma and our kids”
Sometimes Rain is Better than Sun
My house is peaceful, joyful, and fun today despite crappy rainy weather and all somewhat overtired humans. No one got enough sleep. One grownup has a migraine. But Kiddo and Sprout are playing so nicely together. No fighting. No exclusion. No meanness. I’m absolutely loving having my whole family together for the weekend. And sadly,Continue reading “Sometimes Rain is Better than Sun”
What if curiosity healed the cat?
We dropped Sunny off with her relative on Tuesday. It was uneventful. She refused to say goodbye which made it extra hard. Even though I know saying goodbye is really hard for a lot of foster kids – they’ve had to say some really goddamn hard goodbyes in their lives – it still felt yuckyContinue reading “What if curiosity healed the cat?”
Looking for Redemption
I have spent months wallowing in frustration. Frustration with Sunny’s defiance, her meanness, her cruelty toward her sister, her disregard of others in the community life of our family. Frustration has led to anger. I recognize that it is ridiculous that I am angry with a broken ten-year-old for being broken. But knowing and changingContinue reading “Looking for Redemption”
Staying in the System, but in a New Way
I just completed a form to volunteer to be a CASA, or a Court Appointed Special Advocate. A CASA is a volunteer who is appointed by a family court judge, and then connects with a foster child’s parents and foster parents and teachers and doctors, but most importantly, with the child. The purpose of aContinue reading “Staying in the System, but in a New Way”
The Winding Down
I took Sunny to the pediatrician this morning. She was just due for a routine checkup, but I of course informed them that she is being discharged from our county’s care and moved to a relative a few hours away. They made it a discharge appointment, where they gave her shots a little ahead ofContinue reading “The Winding Down”
Feeling at Home
Seth and I have been struggling mightily with our household lately. Sunny knows there are only a few weeks before she goes home, and she’s ramped up her behaviors significantly. Intellectually I get that she’s pushing us and her sister away so that leaving is easier. I get that she’s only 10, and is struggling.Continue reading “Feeling at Home”
It’s Mother’s Day, FWIW
It’s no secret that I’m not a fan of Mother’s Day. I always struggled with it as a younger adult because I didn’t have kids, didn’t want biological kids, and felt inherently that Mother’s Day was the world’s way to point out that I wasn’t the “ideal woman.” Ideal women prioritize reproduction. Once I becameContinue reading “It’s Mother’s Day, FWIW”
Solo Kid Contemplations
It’s spring break week in my house. That means Sunny is off staying with her relative 130+ miles away, and Sprout has her parents to herself. So far it’s been nothing short of joyous. Sunday, my husband and I took Sprout to a little city about an hour away. It’s got a great kids’ scienceContinue reading “Solo Kid Contemplations”
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