trauma

Book Rec Time!

I’ve had this book sitting on my shelf for a long time, and finally picked it up today to read it. It’s a middle grade reader and it’s written in verse, so it’s a super quick read. I got through it with several interruptions in less than 2 hours. But boy does it pack aContinue reading “Book Rec Time!”

Adoption. Is. Trauma.

I got a note from Sprout’s teacher on Friday saying Sprout had a rough week. She refused to do her work unless an adult helped her (she is in a 12:1:1 classroom so that help is thankfully available). She was sometimes uncooperative. And the work she did do was not her best. Let me startContinue reading “Adoption. Is. Trauma.”

Generational Trauma and our kids

Sprout These Days Sprout is doing remarkably well. I’ll start with school academics. She’s getting retested for speech and OT services but likely won’t need either going forward, and her father and I wholeheartedly agree with those services being dropped. While she continues to be in a 12:1:1 classroom, she’s thriving in it, and weContinue reading “Generational Trauma and our kids”

What if curiosity healed the cat?

We dropped Sunny off with her relative on Tuesday. It was uneventful. She refused to say goodbye which made it extra hard. Even though I know saying goodbye is really hard for a lot of foster kids – they’ve had to say some really goddamn hard goodbyes in their lives – it still felt yuckyContinue reading “What if curiosity healed the cat?”

It’s Mother’s Day, FWIW

It’s no secret that I’m not a fan of Mother’s Day. I always struggled with it as a younger adult because I didn’t have kids, didn’t want biological kids, and felt inherently that Mother’s Day was the world’s way to point out that I wasn’t the “ideal woman.” Ideal women prioritize reproduction. Once I becameContinue reading “It’s Mother’s Day, FWIW”

Heartache

I just got a call from the agency that I deeply appreciate having gotten. Years ago we told our homefinder (basically our case worker) that if ever a child we’ve fostered comes back into foster care, we want to be called first. It’s happened twice now. The first time I got a call it wasContinue reading “Heartache”

Time on Hold

We’re all on the struggle bus right now. For one thing, we are waiting for good weather eagerly, and being thwarted. So far NY has offered us an earthquake and an eclipse for April, and today there’s a bit of sun, but we are all feeling cooped up and are wanting SUN and WARMTH enoughContinue reading “Time on Hold”

Struggling to Parent Sunny

I’ve written before about how Sunny is a difficult kid to parent. I’m not sure I’ve really emphasized that enough, though. Folks, I’m struggling with parenting her fairly. Sunny has learned, through no fault of her own, to be manipulative and pushy. Those were attributes that got her needs met when she was home withContinue reading “Struggling to Parent Sunny”

Acting up in public

Last weekend my husband was working, but I fearlessly plowed ahead and took Sunny and Sprout to the Finger Lakes Chapter of Little People of America’s holiday party. Let me start this by praising this organization. I’ve written about them before regarding a baseball game we took the girls to during the summer. Being surroundedContinue reading “Acting up in public”

Sunny’s Need to Belong

The subject of belonging came up for me recently when I listened to a We Can Do Hard Things podcast called “Being Left Out: Navigating that Lifelong Ache.” In the episode, Glennon, Abby, and Amanda talk about the need for feeling like we belong, and how fundamental that feeling is to our survival. In essence,Continue reading “Sunny’s Need to Belong”