placements

What if curiosity healed the cat?

We dropped Sunny off with her relative on Tuesday. It was uneventful. She refused to say goodbye which made it extra hard. Even though I know saying goodbye is really hard for a lot of foster kids – they’ve had to say some really goddamn hard goodbyes in their lives – it still felt yuckyContinue reading “What if curiosity healed the cat?”

The Winding Down

I took Sunny to the pediatrician this morning. She was just due for a routine checkup, but I of course informed them that she is being discharged from our county’s care and moved to a relative a few hours away. They made it a discharge appointment, where they gave her shots a little ahead ofContinue reading “The Winding Down”

Heartache

I just got a call from the agency that I deeply appreciate having gotten. Years ago we told our homefinder (basically our case worker) that if ever a child we’ve fostered comes back into foster care, we want to be called first. It’s happened twice now. The first time I got a call it wasContinue reading “Heartache”

Time on Hold

We’re all on the struggle bus right now. For one thing, we are waiting for good weather eagerly, and being thwarted. So far NY has offered us an earthquake and an eclipse for April, and today there’s a bit of sun, but we are all feeling cooped up and are wanting SUN and WARMTH enoughContinue reading “Time on Hold”

The Power a Good Foster Parent Has

This week I shot an email to Sunny’s attorney and asked her to give me a call when she got the chance. She did so promptly, and I told her in no uncertain terms that Sunny is struggling emotionally here more and more as time passes, and that both her therapist and I think it’sContinue reading “The Power a Good Foster Parent Has”

Struggling to Parent Sunny

I’ve written before about how Sunny is a difficult kid to parent. I’m not sure I’ve really emphasized that enough, though. Folks, I’m struggling with parenting her fairly. Sunny has learned, through no fault of her own, to be manipulative and pushy. Those were attributes that got her needs met when she was home withContinue reading “Struggling to Parent Sunny”

Dealing with Uncertainty

Foster care is nothing if not filled with uncertainty. We have 10-year-old Sunny with us still. She’s been here 519 days counting today. She says she still wants to go home, but my suspicion is that she would have a very hard time transitioning back to her old style of family life. Her family isContinue reading “Dealing with Uncertainty”

Fireworks in Court

We’ve been in contentious foster care related court hearings before when Gronckle was returned home. In that instance, the child’s attorney disagreed vehemently with the agency and judge, but the appearance was brief and everyone managed to avoid taking things personally. I left and cried, but the attorneys shook hands afterward and all was okContinue reading “Fireworks in Court”

Hard Emotions

I was chatting with an old friend last night, and he mentioned that foster care seems to be full of challenging emotions. Boy is that an understatement. About a month ago, the agency was telling us they wanted to have Mama surrender her rights to Sunny and have us adopt her. We were more thanContinue reading “Hard Emotions”

A Spooky Room for Sprout

We’ve been foster parents for almost 8 years, always in the same three bedroom house. Well, now a four bedroom house! There’s a master bedroom, and that’s stayed ours all along. But the other two bedrooms on the second floor have gone through a million different permutations. Kiddo was our first foster kid, and sheContinue reading “A Spooky Room for Sprout”